Day 30

Second to last day. Next month I probably won't post every day as the doll bodies will take longer to make.

baby with eyes closed and no  hair

Didn't know how this would show up in the photo as the colors are so subtle. Not sure whether I can interview this sleeping baby so I will let her sleep.

Tomorrow is the last doll head and then I will start exploring which ones to make bodies for. I won't be posting as often.

Day 29

Happy little boy

I decided to just continue from where I left off. I have 28 doll heads including the practice ones from June and with today's and the ones from tomorrow and the next day, that should be enough. 

Me: Welcome!

Doll head: Thanks.

Me: Tell us your name.

Doll head: I'm Charlie.

Me: Welcome Charlie. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Charlie: Nothing big. Just enjoy the world and your place in it. 

Me: Good advice.

Day 25 and catching up...

Day 25 doll head

I did this doll head before I went away. She looks jolly and a bit silly. I will see today if I can catch up on the heads I missed over the weekend. 

Lets see if she has something she wants to say:

Me: Welcome. Tell us your name and anything else you want to tell us.

Doll: Hi! I'm Missy. Happy to be here! 

Me: Hi Missy. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Missy: I'm from the south. I'm ready to bring sun and happiness to everyone. 

Me: Thanks, Missy. That sounds wonderful. 

Off for the weekend... will catch up Monday

I made the doll head and portrait for today but will be going away where I can't work on doll heads (can't take needles on the plane) so won't post until I get back Monday. I have to trust that I will keep up the momentum. They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit and I am past that. I will probably add a few days in August to finish the 2-3 dolls that I don't get to this weekend. Thanks for your patience. Happy weekend!!

Day 24

Another happy doll head, little girl

Here is today's doll head. I'm really happy with her. I made her late last night. It feels good to be following through on this commitment to myself, though it is tough to be up so late. My kids are home from camp for the rest of the summer so I want to spend the days with them. 

Me: Welcome and tell us your name.

Doll: Hi! I'm Penelope, Penny for short. 

Me: Hi Penny, so glad you are here.

Penny: Me too. 

Me: Is there something you would like to tell us?

Penny: Simple. Just be happy. It's all around you so just let the happiness in.

Me: Thanks for the reminder. 

Penny: You're welcome.

Day 23

Day 23 doll head

Here's my joyful girl from today. Exhuberant and happy with her long braids and smile. 

Me: Welcome! What would you like to say to us? And tell us your name.

Doll: Hi! I'm Fawn.

Me: Hi Fawn. Tell us whatever it is that you are here to say.

Fawn: I don't have a lot to say now. Just love nature, love yourself and be happy where you are now.

Me: That's great, Fawn. Thanks.

Fawn: Your're welcome. Glad to be here.

Me: Glad you are here.

Day 22

Day 22 doll head photographed on fabric from Anthropologie

Here is today's doll head. She has such a happy go lucky look. Even to the point that she looks like she might have had a few too many drinks! Let's see what she has to say.

Me: Hey! Hi there, tell us your name and anything else you want to tell us.

Doll: Hi there yourself. I'm Mamie. I'm having a good time. I think I'm pretty amazing, good looking, smart, what else could you ask for.

Me: OK, Mamie, good to hear that. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Mamie: It's all good. That's all I want to say. It's all good. Have fun and don't look back. That's my motto.

Me: Thanks. So glad you are here. 

Mamie: Glad to be here!

Day 21

Happy guy with beret resting among the kitchen fruit

Today's guy is a happy old guy wearing a beret. I'm not sure if you can see the beret but I was happy how it turned out. Let's ask him if there is anything he wants to tell us.

Me: Hi! Tell us your name and anything else you want to say.

Doll head: Hello. I'm Simon. Just happy to be here. To be alive. What a wonderful world this is.

Me: Hi Simon. So glad you are here. Is there anything else you would like to say now?

Simon: No, except advice to you. Just keep making these doll heads. Don't worry that you missed one yesterday. You can always add a few days in August. I can't wait to see what comes next. What will our bodies look like? I want to meet the others. 

Me: Great. That's my plan to keep making them. And you can meet the others soon. Thank you for being here.

Simon: Thank you for bringing me here.

Catching up..last few days I did the doll heads but didn't have the chance to post, so here they are

Day 18 doll:

Bright cheerful doll head, came out a little fuzzy

Big eyes. This one surprised me-it was inspired by a photo of a man but looks much younger, possibly because of the big eyes. (Full disclosure-I did this one ahead of time. I knew I wouldn't be able to bring the needles on the plane.) 

Day 19:

Wild hair, resting on the fruit in our kitchen bowl

She has wild hair and just looks a bit wild in general. 

I have to confess that I was tired from the journey yesterday and didn't get to day 20. May have to go back and do it later. 

But there they are so far.

Day 17

elderly man (background my monthly art calendar)

Nothing too exciting. Just going about making a doll head a day. Thinking of what I will make them into. I love finger puppets and realized that some of these doll head might turn into finger puppets.

Today's interview:

Me: Welcome!

Doll: Glad to be here!

Me: Tell us your name and anything else you want to say.

Doll: Mmmm. Ya'll got yourselves a nice old place here. Something like where I used to live. Come to think of it, I don't rightly remember where I used to live. Glad to be here. Name's Vincent. 

Me: Welcome Vincent!

Vincent: Just a stepping one foot ahead of the other. That's all you can do. Never know where ya'll'll end up. Just you keep doing that, you hear?

Me: OK, if you say so. Thanks.

Vincent: Weren't nuthin. Glad to be of help. Bye now.

Me: Bye.

Day 16

100 year old woman photographed again in front of my art calendar

Day 16, so now officially halfway there! This doll head was inspired by a photograph of an 100 year old woman. Or at least that is what the photo said, she definitely didn't look that old. As I grow older, I look to older woman for a model of how to age gracefully. I appreciate and admire the wisdom and ease of older women. 

Me: Welcome. Please tell us your name and why you are here. Or what you would like to tell us. 

Doll: Ooh, thank you. My name is Gertrude and I am here, well because you brought me here but I suppose also to tell you that the view from here is fine. 

Me: What do you mean by that, Gertrude?

Gertrude: I mean that aging is nothing to fear. I have lived my life fully and I am grateful for everything, the challenges and the joys. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But now that I have reached this age, I don't feel a need to hold on. My life is part of a cycle, of something larger and when it is my time to pass, I will be able to do so without any regrets.

Me: Thank you. That means a lot to me to hear this. I am so glad you are here.

Gertrude: Me too. Thank you!

Day 15-almost halfway there!

front view-doll day 15

side view-doll day 15

I found this elderly Asian woman. Her skin was mottled and I tried to get this effect by mixing two colors of wool. Not sure if I achieved this. I love how the flower petals look like a ruffle on her dress. 

Interview with Doll number 15:

Me: Welcome! Please tell us your name and anything you would like us to know. 

Doll 15: My name is Mei Mei and I am almost 100 years old. I am here to tell you that nothing is certain in this world. But that is a good thing. It means that everything passes, the good and the bad. So if it is bad at the moment, just wait and it will pass and if it is good, really emjoy it now because you know it will pass too.

Me: Hmm. I have to sit with that. But you're right, it is sort of reassuring to know that nothing is permanent. I appreciate your wisdom. Thank you.

Mei Mei: You are so welcome. Thanks for bringing me here.

Me: You are welcome.

Day 14 doll head

sweet sweet little Irish girl. photographed on my monthly intention calendar

Somehow I made her in an hour and a half which is way way faster than usual. I had the intention of creating the doll heads each day this weekend and did this. She was inspired by in image of a sweet sweet Irish girl I saw on Pintarest. This head is really tiny.

Me: Tell me your name please and welcome. 

Doll head: Eileen. I'm so happy to be here.

Me: Tell us whatever it is you are here to tell us.

Eileen: I'm here for resilience and forgiveness. My message is: if someone is rude to you, just smile and stay open. There is always another way of looking at things. I welcome love and see it in everyone, even if they don't see it themselves.

Me: What a great message, Eileen. I'm so glad you are here.

Eileen: Thank you.

Day 13 doll head-Yu Yi

I am proud of myself that I got to this on a weekend day. Here he is.

Happy Asian baby on a marigold

He looks older than the original image I was working from. He is resting on a flower from a set of flowers that we got today to plant in front of the house. Hot and humid today! 

Me: Can you tell me your name?

Doll head:  Um, it's Yu-Yi.

Me: Welcome Yu Yi.  What would you like to say to us?

Yu Yi: I don't usually bring a lot of attention to myself. I like it quiet and peaceful. I bring peace and contentment to those who see me.

Me: Thanks Yu Yi. Quiet and peace is much appreciated. Is there anything else you want to say? 

Yu Yi: No, that's all. 

Me: Glad you are here.

Yu Yi: Thank you.

doll head day 12

front view doll head number 12

side view doll head number 12, you can see her little earring

Here she is. I am sort of falling in love with her. It took a while to get the coloring for her cheeks and nose right. First I had the same pink that I use with lighter skinned doll heads but that just didn't work. I think this orangey color complements her skin tone much better. 

Interview:

Me: So, welcome. Can you tell me your name?

Doll: (voice sounding very young-she is probably about five) Susie.

Me: Hi, Susie! What would you like to tell us?

Susie: Happy, happy day. Sun and warm skies. Time to skip down the street and get ice cream. 

Me: Sounds good. Welcome Susie. So glad you are here. 

Susie: Me too!

Me: Let's go!

Susie: Yaaaah!

Day 11 doll head with update

day 11 doll head

Here she is. She wanted to be colorful and bright and loved hanging out with the geranium that my husband got for me that is in our backyard. It's a small plant so she looks bigger than she really is. I was excited about her and wanted to share her. I am going to interview her off line and get back to you later also with the self portrait for today.

Interview with doll head number 11:
Me: What's your name? Where are you from?

Doll: I'm from Hawaii. My name is Kaluwehi.

Me: What would you like to tell me? Us?

Kaluwehi: I am the spirit of summer. I celebrate all the senses that come out when summer gives us her bounty of tastes, sights, sounds and sensations. One example: the bounty of delicious fruit-mangoes, peaches, cherries, plums! My hair represents the exuberant colors of summer.

Me: Thanks. Anything else?

Kaluwehi: Just remember to dance and sing.... One more thing. I heard you tell Ernst we may not all get bodies. What about making some of us into pins?

Me: Great idea. Thanks Kaluwehi.

Me as Lord Shiva! Pentel oil pastels

OK. You may not know what to make of this as it is coming sort of out of left field. But to give you some background, I have been studying and practicing meditation for a long time and recently took a class with Sally Kempton, an amazing teacher of meditation, on the Divine Masculine. One of the exercises is to imagine yourself as the Gods and so I decided to try to draw myself as Shiva, one of the Gods I feel most comfortable meditating with. He is known as the Destroyer but the part that Sally focused on was his clarity, awakened awareness, knowledge of yoga and tendency to retreat to Mount Kyloss to meditate. His message of healing comes from his third eye. Sally recently wrote an amazing book on the Divine Feminine. I have a feeling she may be working on a book about the divine masculine.

Day 10, said I would get to it and I did!

Old bearded guy. Just learned his name is Ernst Goodwin.

Funny, I watched the movie Instinct, with my husband again last night and this guy looks like the main character in the movie, played by Anthony Hopkins. He is a primatologist and anthropology professor who studies gorillas in Africa, is lost in the jungle and is found after having killed some of the Africans who found him... Anyway, it's too complicated to describe but a great movie that addresses important questions about the ways we get stuck in our self made prisons and sometimes need reminders from nature to break free (didn't get a good reception when it came out but Martha Beck brought it to my attention so I watched it. Watch it and see what you think) My point was that it was a coincidence that this guy today looked like him. 

I realized yesterday that I need to talk to my doll heads and get an idea of what their take on life is, so here goes...

Interview with doll head Day 10. 

Me: First off, can you tell me your name?

Doll head: (clears throat.) Hmmm. (deep voice) Never used this throat before. You have to excuse me. (He has an accent. Is it British? eastern European? Not sure.)

Me: That's OK. Take your time.

Doll Head: You ask me my name. My name is Ernst. Ernst Goodwin.

Me: Why are you here?

Ernst: You brought me here, didn't you? You should answer that question.

Me: Oh, yes, that's right. I brought you here as part of a series that is going to be made into dolls representing the truth that we are all basically guided by our own innate intelligence, higher power or whatever you want to call it. And our normal state of being is to feel joy, to feel a sense of wellness.

Ernst: There you go. You didn't need to ask me after all. But I have a question for you.

Me: Go ahead.

Ernst: When do I get a body?

Me: Good question. I appreciate your asking it. My plan is to make a doll head a day every day this month. You are number 10, so 21 more. Then I will make bodies for at least 10 of you.

Ernst: What! Not all of us.

Me: Well, let's see. This is sort of an experiment on my part. Maybe I will make bodies for all of you. But I don't want to promise something I can't follow through on. Can you live with that? Whatever happens, you will get used some way. You weren't made in vain.

Ernst: Sure, that's OK.

Me: Maybe we'll talk again. Thank you for talking to me.

Ernst: No problem.

And now the self portrait for day 10:

Me on the left. I added a drawing of Lisa Randall,  theoretical physicist (bottom right) and a conservative talk show host (top right, forgot her name but she was in the NYTimes yesterday) Prismacolor Ebony pencil and Crayola pencil (! didn't notice that that is what it was until just now!)

I had an idea to put myself in an image with other middle aged women. (Ernst got in there somehow too!) I was exploring other middle aged women's faces on Pintarest. It was a lot of fun. Mid-life is a time of exploration, self and otherwise. Interesting to see what makes a face unique, and also to explore emotions.

Let's see what comes up today, Day 11....

Day 9, progressing slowly but surely

old lady doll head, day 9

She looks a little worse for wear. She has a bun in back. I'll have to ask you to trust me on that. 

Day 9 portrait, pentel pen and pentel oil pastels

Here's the portrait for day 9. I like how I am using the whole page these last days. I tried a smiling portrait. 

Off to yoga and then to make the doll head for day 10. It's an old man with a big beard today. I am thinking of trying to simplify the features a little. Let's see how I do...

Doll heads for day seven and eight, catching up!

 

Yesterday I did finish the doll head for the day before and started another one. The first was a baby head, also, like the previous one, representing a joyful mood. Here it is.

Baby doll head, interesting how similar it really looks to the old man head from the previous day

And then, I started another one, but she took some time. I struggled with her teeth, haven't completely resolved that. And I made cornrows for her hair. I am showing you the back too so you can see the corn rows. I think they came out pretty well!

Here she is from the front

And here are her corn rows!

I still want to make a doll head for today. Let's see if I can.

Started with pencil, then added pentel marker. 

Here is the self portrait for yesterday.

Quick post, self portrait yesterday, today more doll heads coming!!

Again with pentel pens. I took longer with this one. 

Here is my self portrait from yesterday. I took a longer time with this one and it helped to have the light coming from one side to make the dramatic shadows. Today is Monday and I will be back to making doll heads.

Day 6 challenge

Yesterday was a day off. I had made this doll head the day before and I hope to make another one today. I am trying a new tack. Focusing on images of joy. This doll head was inspired by a wonderful face of an old man with a huge, infectious smile that I found on Pintarest. I took a photo of him in our tiny backyard, in amongst the herb garden.

This photo is of my daughter talking to my husband on our way back from yeterday's excursion, a sailing trip. Beautiful day.

Instead of a self portrait, this is my daughter talking to my husband yesterday on the way back from a sailing trip

day 6 doll head-Joy

Day Five: Doll Head challenge

again, from a photo of my daughter. This time a little older.

Here is the doll head for Day five. This one has sort of a quizzical expression. She is going to think it over before saying yes. This sort of fits with my daughter. She was about 10 at the time of the photo that this comes from.

Two different widths of Pentel pens, hybrid Technica and Sign pen. 

Still looking strained. Hopefully I will ease through this process as I continue to draw. Today I also looked at some diagrams of facial muscles for review. Do you know that we have 43 muscles in the face? Many of the are around the mouth. 

I am mulling over how I am going to make the bodies for these dolls. I don't want them to be too complicated. I haven't told you yet, but they are going to be intention dolls. At first they were all going to be about positive, hopeful attentions but seeing their faces, I think some of them will be gremlins as well. Sometimes it helps to get those negative thoughts out there so we can see them. 

Feeling quite vulnerable sharing my process of reconnecting with self portraits in this very public way. But hopefully it is worth it if I inspire some of you to try your own. It is a good way to see things in yourself that you didn't know were there, to be surprised. There is such a truth in self portraits.

Day Three for doll head challenge

Tomorrow is July 4th and I doubted I would get to this then, so I did two doll heads today. Here they are:

Little one was from a baby photo of my daughter and the big one was from a baby photo of my son

The one of my son was the biggest head yet. The smaller one was from a different photograph but they both have that wistful sort of baby look. 

Here is my portrait for today. I didn't do two. I used pentel oil pastels this time.  Kind of intense looking. It's good to get back in practice with portraits. 

Me wearing a new hat I got in Annapolis the other weekend

That's it for today, short and sweet. Happy 4th!! Back on Friday for doll head number 5.

Doll (head) number two, since it is July 2nd

Doll head number two

Here's doll head number two. She is based on a photo of my daughter, aged two at the time. When she was little she had red hair, which has now changed to a dark blond. It was never this red but this face does capture something of the impishness and determination in her spirit, even (especially?) at that age.

Self portrait number two

These portraits are quick sketches. This one captures a pensive mood. I had to draw it in the basement where I have a mirror that I can set up. The basement is out last frontier after this move, which tomorrow will be exactly a year ago. The basement is stacked with boxes, blankets, assorted items that belie description. We are determined to get to it this summer!

This has been an interesting process so far. It is interesting to see how the doll heads have a life of their own. I need to learn to just go with it. Sometimes frustrating, always intriguing. 

I wanted also to mention that Barb Kobe is my doll making mentor. She has a website that shows her wonderful medicine dolls. I am in the process of completing the last of the four dolls in the medicine doll series: guardian, scapegoat, talisman and healer. I will share that last doll when I finish it.

Doll (head) number one for my July challenge.

First doll head this month. He doesn't have a name yet. The background is a chess board, just so you get the scale.

I am taking on the challenge of making a doll head a day this month. Here is my first one. Somehow he wanted to be a male doll so I let him be. Let's see what comes out each day. 

I am also challenging myself to do a self portrait each day and I will share those too. I am noticing faces much more as I make these doll heads. 

A little gloomy looking but it was late at night and I was tired!

The techniques used is sculptural needle felting which I learned over the last year from Kay Petal at her Felt Alive website. I recommend that to you too, if you are interested. 

Please bear with me too as I learn how to design this blog.