Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Teaser-Fawn, my first (almost complete) mini doll

First mini doll "Fawn"

You may remember Fawn from my July mini doll head challenge. Back then I challenged myself to make a doll head a day and said I would be making the heads into mini dolls. Well, here is Fawn. She told me back then that she loves to be in nature and she presents herself as a type of dryad creature-half person, half tree.

I am in the process of interviewing her to get her story. She will come with her own little cosy nature box and a book that tells her story. She is all about the joy of nature. Stay tuned!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Transformative Healing Dolls: Doll-making as an on-going conversation with creative spirit

This was the title of the doll making workshop that I did this week at the Shambhala Institute's Art Salon this week.

I don't have pictures but I can give you some word pictures. It felt too intimate to take pictures, honestly. This presentation was a way for me to get to know artists in the local community and as a special bonus, to get to know artists who were also meditators. Meditation is an important part of my life and it has been for a long time. Whew! What a gift. And not only that, they asked me to present my work.

As I entered the lovely, small Tantra room, with meditation pillows arranged in a circle, with colorful meditational wall hangings surrounding us, my previous nervousness dissipated and I relaxed.

Here's how I started the presentation:


Tonight I want to share my dolls with you-and I am grateful in advance for the enrichment of my own experience of the dolls that will come from sharing them with you and hearing your observations, thoughts and experiences.
The way I want to structure the evening is to start with the dolls themselves. I am going to focus on a series of four dolls that I made as part of a training with my doll making mentor, Barb Kobe, the Medicine doll series, completed over the past one and a half years. I will also share some other dolls that were made as the series progressed, ending with a new venture into soft sculpture dolls. One caveat: I actually haven’t finished the series. The last doll, the healer, is still in the works. I will share sketches of this doll and some of the smaller models. I think it might be interesting for you to hear about a doll that is still in process.
I want to tell you about the meaning of the dolls for me on a personal and spiritual level. And that breaks down into two parts: first the doll construction: I want to share something about the envisioning of and construction of the dolls, because I feel like the process is just about as important as the final dolls.
Then I want to share a bit of the research I did after the fact on the wider symbolism of the various elements of the dolls. It was interesting to me to see what various symbols that had personal meaning to me, meant to others in different cultures and religions. The overlaps and synchronicities were powerful to experience.
Finally I want to share how the dolls had meaning in my own life, because as, healing and transformational dolls, it might be interesting for you to hear how they did their transformational magic on me. 

I discovered some interesting things during this first part of the presentation which took an hour, including the realization that my doll series is all about the process of change. I learned that the second doll, the scary looking Scapegoat doll, Bruxus, which on one level I saw was about resisting change, had another layer of meaning to it. This reptilian, snake-haired wild woman  is tearing the baby out of her belly, in essence destroying change before it can happen. But when I compared her to archetypal figures I saw that she could also represent the catyclysmic change of a Kali or Durga in Indian mythology. These goddesses were violent and dangerous, yes, but at the same time, they represented the great force of nature that is needed at times to clear out the undergrowth and clutter and reveal a completely new landscape. 
Scary Scapegoat doll, Bruxus, (on one level) about the repetitive cycle of resisting change 


The next doll, Rhea, the, Talisman doll, was about a softer kind of change. She radiates wholeness and love and even though she is stepping out of her grey, outworn skin that no longer serves her, you can see that she still loves and accepts what that part of her once did for her, how it served her. 

Rhea, the talisman doll, shedding her old skin
Then for the second hour of the presentation, I asked the participants to make a doll about some area of their lives, their body or the world at large, that needs healing. I gave them small wood branches, quilt batting and colorful fabric cut into strips and various small items for embellishment. The dolls that they made and their comments about them were extremely moving and powerful. They spoke of deep emotional connection or desire for connection with others in their life and made dolls representing "a wonderful, warm mother who will help me through the next years of transition in my life," or "a doll to honor my mother who needs this right now." They used bright colors, creative embellishments such as bright buttons, tiny unbrellas and animal patterned cloth in complex ways. We saw how dolls can capture a range of feelings, including opposites, in a way that words cannot do. 
The feeling in the room as the participants listened to each other share about their dolls was charged with a deep sense of intimacy and acceptance. What a wonderful experience to be a part of!







Saturday, September 14, 2013

Report on Doll making progress over the past month or so....

Haven't yet made the bodies for the mini dolls because another project intervened. Here are the dolls I made and a report about them.

These are all scultural needle felted dolls. The Rheas are about six inches high and the Creative wild doll is nine inches high.


Mini Rheas I and II with their shed or morphed skin of old unwanted habits and behaviors


Another view of the mini Rheas at the kitchen table

Mini Rheas with Mama Rhea, my Talisman doll



So happy I can now report that my first doll commission has made it over the Atlantic and to England! My wonderful client, starting a new business, asked for a mini version of the Talisman doll I had named Rhea. She said: "she seems to be shedding the skin of an outworn life, an ourworn phase in her life that is ending gradually, dying gradually. Like moulting, like transmuting. 
As she sheds this skin, a new self emerges, naked and uncertain."

So incredible how the Rhea doll, which had symbolized opening to joy and transformation for me, also spoke so strongly to someone else. She chose the Rhea doll on the left. What happened was that after I made the first mini Rhea, I decided to make another one, Rhea II so that she could choose. 

And over the last week or so, as the doll was making her way over the Atlantic to her new owner, I started to make a new doll, just in case something happened to her en route. Well, yesterday I heard that she made it. Yaaah. And so I changed what might have been Rhea III into a new doll, not yet complete but this time symbolizing the joy and bliss of creative abandon. 

Here she is, not yet complete, as I say but ready to say hello.

Creative Wild doll

Monday, August 5, 2013

Taking a brief hiatus as the doll bodies get constructed...

It's summer and I am taking a hiatus for a little while. I have the idea now of what the mini doll bodies are going to look like but I don't have an image yet. I will post as soon as I have something to show. I am taking a break from the self portraits too. My daughter says August is the Sunday of the months and I  think this is right. Hope you understand.

Have a wonderful week!!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Done with daily doll head challenge, Day 31 today

All the doll heads together!!

Day 31 doll head

It's really satisfying to see all the doll heads together. Here is yesterday's head, the last one in the challenge. I was inspired by a photo of a happy looking Jamaican man for this one. 

Me: Welcome, tell us your name and anything you would like to say to us.

Doll head: I'm Tom and I just have to say, be happy. This is a wonderful world.

Me: Welcome Tom. So glad you are here. 

Tom: Thanks. Glad to be here. 

Next step now is the work on the bodies for the doll heads and that will take a little more time so I may not be posting every day. But I will keep you posted here. 

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 30

Second to last day. Next month I probably won't post every day as the doll bodies will take longer to make.

baby with eyes closed and no  hair

Didn't know how this would show up in the photo as the colors are so subtle. Not sure whether I can interview this sleeping baby so I will let her sleep.

Tomorrow is the last doll head and then I will start exploring which ones to make bodies for. I won't be posting as often.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Day 29

Happy little boy

I decided to just continue from where I left off. I have 28 doll heads including the practice ones from June and with today's and the ones from tomorrow and the next day, that should be enough. 

Me: Welcome!

Doll head: Thanks.

Me: Tell us your name.

Doll head: I'm Charlie.

Me: Welcome Charlie. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Charlie: Nothing big. Just enjoy the world and your place in it. 

Me: Good advice.




Monday, July 29, 2013

Day 25 and catching up...

Day 25 doll head

I did this doll head before I went away. She looks jolly and a bit silly. I will see today if I can catch up on the heads I missed over the weekend. 

Lets see if she has something she wants to say:

Me: Welcome. Tell us your name and anything else you want to tell us.

Doll: Hi! I'm Missy. Happy to be here! 

Me: Hi Missy. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Missy: I'm from the south. I'm ready to bring sun and happiness to everyone. 

Me: Thanks, Missy. That sounds wonderful. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Off for the weekend... will catch up Monday

I made the doll head and portrait for today but will be going away where I can't work on doll heads (can't take needles on the plane) so won't post until I get back Monday. I have to trust that I will keep up the momentum. They say it takes 21 days to create a new habit and I am past that. I will probably add a few days in August to finish the 2-3 dolls that I don't get to this weekend. Thanks for your patience. Happy weekend!!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Day 24


Another happy doll head, little girl

Here is today's doll head. I'm really happy with her. I made her late last night. It feels good to be following through on this commitment to myself, though it is tough to be up so late. My kids are home from camp for the rest of the summer so I want to spend the days with them. 

Me: Welcome and tell us your name.

Doll: Hi! I'm Penelope, Penny for short. 

Me: Hi Penny, so glad you are here.

Penny: Me too. 

Me: Is there something you would like to tell us?

Penny: Simple. Just be happy. It's all around you so just let the happiness in.

Me: Thanks for the reminder. 

Penny: You're welcome.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Day 23

Day 23 doll head

Here's my joyful girl from today. Exhuberant and happy with her long braids and smile. 

Me: Welcome! What would you like to say to us? And tell us your name.

Doll: Hi! I'm Fawn.

Me: Hi Fawn. Tell us whatever it is that you are here to say.

Fawn: I don't have a lot to say now. Just love nature, love yourself and be happy where you are now.

Me: That's great, Fawn. Thanks.

Fawn: Your're welcome. Glad to be here.

Me: Glad you are here.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day 22

Day 22 doll head photographed on fabric from Anthropologie

Here is today's doll head. She has such a happy go lucky look. Even to the point that she looks like she might have had a few too many drinks! Let's see what she has to say.

Me: Hey! Hi there, tell us your name and anything else you want to tell us.

Doll: Hi there yourself. I'm Mamie. I'm having a good time. I think I'm pretty amazing, good looking, smart, what else could you ask for.

Me: OK, Mamie, good to hear that. Is there anything you want to tell us?

Mamie: It's all good. That's all I want to say. It's all good. Have fun and don't look back. That's my motto.

Me: Thanks. So glad you are here. 

Mamie: Glad to be here!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Day 21

Happy guy with beret resting among the kitchen fruit

Today's guy is a happy old guy wearing a beret. I'm not sure if you can see the beret but I was happy how it turned out. Let's ask him if there is anything he wants to tell us.

Me: Hi! Tell us your name and anything else you want to say.

Doll head: Hello. I'm Simon. Just happy to be here. To be alive. What a wonderful world this is.

Me: Hi Simon. So glad you are here. Is there anything else you would like to say now?

Simon: No, except advice to you. Just keep making these doll heads. Don't worry that you missed one yesterday. You can always add a few days in August. I can't wait to see what comes next. What will our bodies look like? I want to meet the others. 

Me: Great. That's my plan to keep making them. And you can meet the others soon. Thank you for being here.

Simon: Thank you for bringing me here.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Catching up..last few days I did the doll heads but didn't have the chance to post, so here they are

Day 18 doll:

Bright cheerful doll head, came out a little fuzzy

Big eyes. This one surprised me-it was inspired by a photo of a man but looks much younger, possibly because of the big eyes. (Full disclosure-I did this one ahead of time. I knew I wouldn't be able to bring the needles on the plane.) 

Day 19:

Wild hair, resting on the fruit in our kitchen bowl

She has wild hair and just looks a bit wild in general. 

I have to confess that I was tired from the journey yesterday and didn't get to day 20. May have to go back and do it later. 

But there they are so far.






Thursday, July 18, 2013

Day 17

elderly man (background my monthly art calendar)

Nothing too exciting. Just going about making a doll head a day. Thinking of what I will make them into. I love finger puppets and realized that some of these doll head might turn into finger puppets.

Today's interview:
Me: Welcome!

Doll: Glad to be here!

Me: Tell us your name and anything else you want to say.

Doll: Mmmm. Ya'll got yourselves a nice old place here. Something like where I used to live. Come to think of it, I don't rightly remember where I used to live. Glad to be here. Name's Vincent. 

Me: Welcome Vincent!

Vincent: Just a stepping one foot ahead of the other. That's all you can do. Never know where ya'll'll end up. Just you keep doing that, you hear?

Me: OK, if you say so. Thanks.

Vincent: Weren't nuthin. Glad to be of help. Bye now.

Me: Bye.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Day 16

100 year old woman photographed again in front of my art calendar

Day 16, so now officially halfway there! This doll head was inspired by a photograph of an 100 year old woman. Or at least that is what the photo said, she definitely didn't look that old. As I grow older, I look to older woman for a model of how to age gracefully. I appreciate and admire the wisdom and ease of older women. 

Me: Welcome. Please tell us your name and why you are here. Or what you would like to tell us. 

Doll: Ooh, thank you. My name is Gertrude and I am here, well because you brought me here but I suppose also to tell you that the view from here is fine. 

Me: What do you mean by that, Gertrude?

Gertrude: I mean that aging is nothing to fear. I have lived my life fully and I am grateful for everything, the challenges and the joys. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But now that I have reached this age, I don't feel a need to hold on. My life is part of a cycle, of something larger and when it is my time to pass, I will be able to do so without any regrets.

Me: Thank you. That means a lot to me to hear this. I am so glad you are here.

Gertrude: Me too. Thank you!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Day 15-almost halfway there!

front view-doll day 15

side view-doll day 15

I found this elderly Asian woman. Her skin was mottled and I tried to get this effect by mixing two colors of wool. Not sure if I achieved this. I love how the flower petals look like a ruffle on her dress. 

Interview with Doll number 15:

Me: Welcome! Please tell us your name and anything you would like us to know. 

Doll 15: My name is Mei Mei and I am almost 100 years old. I am here to tell you that nothing is certain in this world. But that is a good thing. It means that everything passes, the good and the bad. So if it is bad at the moment, just wait and it will pass and if it is good, really emjoy it now because you know it will pass too.

Me: Hmm. I have to sit with that. But you're right, it is sort of reassuring to know that nothing is permanent. I appreciate your wisdom. Thank you.

Mei Mei: You are so welcome. Thanks for bringing me here.

Me: You are welcome.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Day 14 doll head

sweet sweet little Irish girl. photographed on my monthly intention calendar

Somehow I made her in an hour and a half which is way way faster than usual. I had the intention of creating the doll heads each day this weekend and did this. She was inspired by in image of a sweet sweet Irish girl I saw on Pintarest. This head is really tiny.

Me: Tell me your name please and welcome. 

Doll head: Eileen. I'm so happy to be here.

Me: Tell us whatever it is you are here to tell us.

Eileen: I'm here for resilience and forgiveness. My message is: if someone is rude to you, just smile and stay open. There is always another way of looking at things. I welcome love and see it in everyone, even if they don't see it themselves.

Me: What a great message, Eileen. I'm so glad you are here.

Eileen: Thank you.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Day 13 doll head-Yu Yi

I am proud of myself that I got to this on a weekend day. Here he is.

Happy Asian baby on a marigold

He looks older than the original image I was working from. He is resting on a flower from a set of flowers that we got today to plant in front of the house. Hot and humid today! 

Me: Can you tell me your name?

Doll head:  Um, it's Yu-Yi.

Me: Welcome Yu Yi.  What would you like to say to us?

Yu Yi: I don't usually bring a lot of attention to myself. I like it quiet and peaceful. I bring peace and contentment to those who see me.

Me: Thanks Yu Yi. Quiet and peace is much appreciated. Is there anything else you want to say? 

Yu Yi: No, that's all. 

Me: Glad you are here.

Yu Yi: Thank you.



Saturday, July 13, 2013

doll head day 12

front view doll head number 12

side view doll head number 12, you can see her little earring

Here she is. I am sort of falling in love with her. It took a while to get the coloring for her cheeks and nose right. First I had the same pink that I use with lighter skinned doll heads but that just didn't work. I think this orangey color complements her skin tone much better. 

Interview:

Me: So, welcome. Can you tell me your name?

Doll: (voice sounding very young-she is probably about five) Susie.

Me: Hi, Susie! What would you like to tell us?

Susie: Happy, happy day. Sun and warm skies. Time to skip down the street and get ice cream. 

Me: Sounds good. Welcome Susie. So glad you are here. 

Susie: Me too!

Me: Let's go!

Susie: Yaaaah!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 11 doll head with update

day 11 doll head

Here she is. She wanted to be colorful and bright and loved hanging out with the geranium that my husband got for me that is in our backyard. It's a small plant so she looks bigger than she really is. I was excited about her and wanted to share her. I am going to interview her off line and get back to you later also with the self portrait for today.

Interview with doll head number 11:
Me: What's your name? Where are you from?

Doll: I'm from Hawaii. My name is Kaluwehi.

Me: What would you like to tell me? Us?

Kaluwehi: I am the spirit of summer. I celebrate all the senses that come out when summer gives us her bounty of tastes, sights, sounds and sensations. One example: the bounty of delicious fruit-mangoes, peaches, cherries, plums! My hair represents the exuberant colors of summer.

Me: Thanks. Anything else?

Kaluwehi: Just remember to dance and sing.... One more thing. I heard you tell Ernst we may not all get bodies. What about making some of us into pins?

Me: Great idea. Thanks Kaluwehi.

Me as Lord Shiva! Pentel oil pastels
OK. You may not know what to make of this as it is coming sort of out of left field. But to give you some background, I have been studying and practicing meditation for a long time and recently took a class with Sally Kempton, an amazing teacher of meditation, on the Divine Masculine. One of the exercises is to imagine yourself as the Gods and so I decided to try to draw myself as Shiva, one of the Gods I feel most comfortable meditating with. He is known as the Destroyer but the part that Sally focused on was his clarity, awakened awareness, knowledge of yoga and tendency to retreat to Mount Kyloss to meditate. His message of healing comes from his third eye. Sally recently wrote an amazing book on the Divine Feminine. I have a feeling she may be working on a book about the divine masculine.


Day 10, said I would get to it and I did!

Old bearded guy. Just learned his name is Ernst Goodwin.

Funny, I watched the movie Instinct, with my husband again last night and this guy looks like the main character in the movie, played by Anthony Hopkins. He is a primatologist and anthropology professor who studies gorillas in Africa, is lost in the jungle and is found after having killed some of the Africans who found him... Anyway, it's too complicated to describe but a great movie that addresses important questions about the ways we get stuck in our self made prisons and sometimes need reminders from nature to break free (didn't get a good reception when it came out but Martha Beck brought it to my attention so I watched it. Watch it and see what you think) My point was that it was a coincidence that this guy today looked like him. 

I realized yesterday that I need to talk to my doll heads and get an idea of what their take on life is, so here goes...

Interview with doll head Day 10. 

Me: First off, can you tell me your name?

Doll head: (clears throat.) Hmmm. (deep voice) Never used this throat before. You have to excuse me. (He has an accent. Is it British? eastern European? Not sure.)

Me: That's OK. Take your time.

Doll Head: You ask me my name. My name is Ernst. Ernst Goodwin.

Me: Why are you here?

Ernst: You brought me here, didn't you? You should answer that question.

Me: Oh, yes, that's right. I brought you here as part of a series that is going to be made into dolls representing the truth that we are all basically guided by our own innate intelligence, higher power or whatever you want to call it. And our normal state of being is to feel joy, to feel a sense of wellness.

Ernst: There you go. You didn't need to ask me after all. But I have a question for you.

Me: Go ahead.

Ernst: When do I get a body?

Me: Good question. I appreciate your asking it. My plan is to make a doll head a day every day this month. You are number 10, so 21 more. Then I will make bodies for at least 10 of you.

Ernst: What! Not all of us.

Me: Well, let's see. This is sort of an experiment on my part. Maybe I will make bodies for all of you. But I don't want to promise something I can't follow through on. Can you live with that? Whatever happens, you will get used some way. You weren't made in vain.

Ernst: Sure, that's OK.

Me: Maybe we'll talk again. Thank you for talking to me.

Ernst: No problem.

And now the self portrait for day 10:

Me on the left. I added a drawing of Lisa Randall,  theoretical physicist (bottom right) and a conservative talk show host (top right, forgot her name but she was in the NYTimes yesterday) Prismacolor Ebony pencil and Crayola pencil (! didn't notice that that is what it was until just now!)
I had an idea to put myself in an image with other middle aged women. (Ernst got in there somehow too!) I was exploring other middle aged women's faces on Pintarest. It was a lot of fun. Mid-life is a time of exploration, self and otherwise. Interesting to see what makes a face unique, and also to explore emotions.

Let's see what comes up today, Day 11....




Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day 9, progressing slowly but surely

old lady doll head, day 9

She looks a little worse for wear. She has a bun in back. I'll have to ask you to trust me on that. 


Day 9 portrait, pentel pen and pentel oil pastels

Here's the portrait for day 9. I like how I am using the whole page these last days. I tried a smiling portrait. 

Off to yoga and then to make the doll head for day 10. It's an old man with a big beard today. I am thinking of trying to simplify the features a little. Let's see how I do...




Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Doll heads for day seven and eight, catching up!










































Yesterday I did finish the doll head for the day before and started another one. The first was a baby head, also, like the previous one, representing a joyful mood. Here it is.

Baby doll head, interesting how similar it really looks to the old man head from the previous day

And then, I started another one, but she took some time. I struggled with her teeth, haven't completely resolved that. And I made cornrows for her hair. I am showing you the back too so you can see the corn rows. I think they came out pretty well!

Here she is from the front

And here are her corn rows!






I still want to make a doll head for today. Let's see if I can.


Started with pencil, then added pentel marker. 


Here is the self portrait for yesterday.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Quick post, self portrait yesterday, today more doll heads coming!!

Again with pentel pens. I took longer with this one. 

Here is my self portrait from yesterday. I took a longer time with this one and it helped to have the light coming from one side to make the dramatic shadows. Today is Monday and I will be back to making doll heads.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Day 6 challenge


Yesterday was a day off. I had made this doll head the day before and I hope to make another one today. I am trying a new tack. Focusing on images of joy. This doll head was inspired by a wonderful face of an old man with a huge, infectious smile that I found on Pintarest. I took a photo of him in our tiny backyard, in amongst the herb garden.

This photo is of my daughter talking to my husband on our way back from yeterday's excursion, a sailing trip. Beautiful day.






Instead of a self portrait, this is my daughter talking to my husband yesterday on the way back from a sailing trip

day 6 doll head-Joy